Well, here we go. Maybe the first thing I should do is explain the title and address of my blog. I really had a hard time deciding what to name my blog because I wanted it to be “good”. You know, that great title that makes people go, “ooh, that’s good… she sounds so brilliantly introspective and insightful, I want to keep reading!” So maybe my title doesn’t really do that for you, that’s ok, because I happen to really like it.

Let’s see if I can explain it the way it is in my head. I was sitting in the caf at my school studying one day, and another girl who goes to my school was sitting there studying, and she started talking about ants, and how funny it must seem to God to be “sitting up there” in heaven, watching us humans, driving around in our little boxes (cars), doing such silly things (too numerous to name), and generally just going about our busy little lives. It might be sort of like us watching an ant colony, and how they go about their busy little lives, carrying this crumb from point A to point B, and how that’s like their goal in life, all the while not even taking notice of the giant human beings watching them.

In this sense, I feel like I am living in a fishbowl (or an ant colony thingie, whatever). I get so wrapped up in my life and silly things in my life that sometimes I forget that there is a very real, very powerful God that exists, watching my every move, knowing it before I even do it, and moreover, knowing every single possible thing about me! I can’t hide from Him, that’s for sure (which is a good thing!). Psalm 119 is a good reminder of this.

The title is true in a second (but somewhat less important) sense too. Life in a consumer-driven society is often inevitably lived in the fishbowl too. The incredible sense of pressure to “keep up with the Jones’s”, in whatever way that works itself out in your particular life, is almost impossible to avoid. There are some who care about that stuff much less than others, but I think 99% of us are not completely immune from it; I think it’s part of original sin- pride and the desire to appear better than we actually are and to find our fulfillment in sources other than Christ. I try to resist it every day, but I admit that it’s hard. This coming from someone who often shops at Wal-mart for clothes, and is proudest of her $3 pair of cords from a thrift shop. If it’s hard for me I can’t even imagine how it is for someone who actually fully buys into that whole world.

I am graduating tomorrow from university with my B.A. in philosophy. Exciting, yes. Scary, definately. I often wish God would just drop me a bit of a hint of a five or ten year plan for my life. Even 3 years would do. Where am I going to be? What will I be doing? More importantly- where does God want me??? This is where I surrender control of my life over to Him and trust Him to guide me in the right direction!

Tomorrow marks the end of my school career (for now anyway). I have been a “student” since I was 4. That’s 18 years of being a student, and now I have to be a grown-up. To be continued…

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