it’s called materialism/ consumerism. not quite the same things, however they are usually lumped into one, and that works for the purpose of this thought. materialism is the silent but deadly killer in north america. I really think that it’s the devil’s favorite tool, because practically no one seems to be immune to it, and it is quite the epidemic. pretty much everyone I’ve ever known is affected in some way by this disease, whether it’s to a lesser degree or more. I guess there are a few individuals amidst the crowd who have somehow found a way to subvert it, but as a whole, our society is completely inundated with it. I know I am among the majority in this department, although it’s something I despise about myself.

I try really hard (although not hard enough, I admit) to resist the temptation to be materialistic, to want stuff, and to fool myself into thinking that the stuff will make me happier. I often feel like I have the devil on one shoulder, and Jesus on the other, trying to convince me to buy/not buy that one clothing item/bag/food/home decorating thing/CD/movie… etc. It’s a serious tug-of-war!

my main problem is just that I really don’t know where to “draw the line”. what is an acceptable indulgence on myself when there are children all over the world dying from hunger? how do I reconcile the ridiculous things I spend my money on, when there are so many in so much need? I’m not talking about ridiculous spending on things that our society would consider lavish, but just the average young person’s spendings. For example, going to the movie theatre last Saturday cost Chris and I like $20. We saw a movie, it was entertaining, (not all of it glorified God, but that’s a whole other question…) but it was not necessary by any stretch. I guess my basic question is this… was that ok? or should I have saved that money and gave it to the poor, quite literally? and how does this line get drawn exactly?