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I’m sitting here in my dark living room, lit only by strings of Christmas lights, and our Christmas tree in the corner. This is my absolute favorite time to be at home (these weeks before Christmas when all is “aglow” with Christmas-ness). I’m sitting here, feeling sleepy even though it’s only 9:36pm. This makes me feel old. And yet I love it. I feel dreamy (whatever that means). My kitty is curled up next to me on the back of the couch, and is purring. He’s so cute.

I don’t really have anything particular to say. I guess I wish I did. Other people always seem to have just the right thing to say on their blog that makes them look cool, or unique, or thoughtful, or something. I wonder why I even have this blog. That’s a problem with human nature… one can never really have pure intentions. If I say it’s only because I want to journal my thoughts and engage in discussion and interaction with others, I’m probably partly lying. If I say it’s totally a tool to make myself look cool to other people, then I’m really selling myself short. I’m flawed, but I don’t think I’m that shallow! I think I have mixed intentions, if I’m being totally honest. What can I say? I am a victim of generation Y, which means I really value being genuine. Hence, this honest examination of my blogging motives.

Why do you blog? I think only like 3 people ever read this thing, but if you’re reading this, then post a comment. Tell me why you blog (or don’t blog)…

So sometimes I get a little anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I’m not entirely sure why.  I need to do a little introspection, and pay more attention to my “feelings” – those strange and illogical things.  Oh- wait- I’ve learned that they aren’t actually illogical… but I do maintain that they are a bit scary.

Why oh why?  I’ve been told that if you think you’re crazy, you’re probably not.  Whew!  Good thing for me.  Anyway- there’s no reason that I know of to feel anxious.  Yet I feel it.  I usually try to ignore it, and it goes away, but eventually it comes back.  I think the enemy gets in my head sometimes, and I need to be more vigilant in paying attention to my emotions… I think that’s where he gets me.  Sometimes I really feel the weight of the world on my shoulders (or is that the ache from the bumpiest ride of my life yesterday for 4 hours in rural Kenya?  I can’t say for sure 🙂

Well, now that I’ve intensified that angst by being vulnerable to God-knows-who reading this…

Brilliant, really. 

PS- I really like myself. Really. Now aren’t I just full of paradoxical feelings and confusion? Lovely.

I'm Red, he's Honey. I'm the writer of this blog and the source of your entertainment and/or boredom. We're parents of an exceptionally adorable child, and we have no idea what we're doing! This blog is the outlet for my thoughts along the way - welcome! Pull up a couch, grab a cup of tea, and stay a while! Or back away slowly. Whatever works.

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July 2020